Being all over the map is a strange feeling, particularly when you've just started. It's unlike having chocolate - which I just did - where you start with bits and ultimately finish up the whole bar in a long stretch of sincere addiction. So in a nutshell, chocolate symbolises your traditional indulgence, and I impulsively know that this isn't it. On an afterthought, no food is suitable to express this; but I just had to bring that in.
Hm, so, to put it better, this is symbolically ironical. I have physical, concrete destinations, but vague, directionless, uncalculated aims; and yet I'm glad that both exist. I can now vouch that being a drifter isn't a bad feeling: the more conventional setup ceases to exist as long as you don't draw your benchmarks from the conventional world. You aren't afraid of the large money hubs - anymore, for a lifestyle of compromises becomes such a powerful motivator against embracing them. The chinks in your armour show up once in a while, though.
The best part is the dissolution of the work-earn-work-die image that our society promotes. Lots of people do lots of things - and nothings - and find their ways to represent what they have to such a exaggerated effect that it qualifies them to dignity. It's all bad faith. The mantra to being awesome is actually being awesome all the time.
rightnow: lost my packet of gems earlier, lamenting over it and having little hearts to ease the depression.
Nothing puts it better...
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