Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Strange but entertaining night

I slept a little early - from my habit - at 10:30PM today. Originally I had planned to wake up at 0030hrs to watch Manchester United's Champions League match, and put an alarm for that.

But nightmares gripped me to bring me to a sweaty awakening at 2:00AM. Really scary memories. Something about taking my friends to hills, to spot some wildlife, in an open chevy, and getting mauled by a leopard in the night (I was attacked first).

I thought that the soccer match would have been over, but still turned on the television out of curiosity, to find my team won gloriously 6-2. Their new buy - the prodigal Wayne Rooney - scoring a Hat Trick on his debut!! By tomorrow the whole planet must be flooded with the news of soccer's future elite. Manchester really purchased a gem in form of this boy, same age as mine, and talents with the ball about gazillion times better than mine or anybody else.

That followed a good 4 hr session on PC, which I'll be ending after finishing off this blog. I'll try to compile my remaining memories whatsoever related to the dream I had, put some time to search about meaning of such stuff, and post it later when I'm back from College.

Adios till then!

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Solution to my mimsy self

Recap
I expressed scorn at 2 parties i went to for the selection of music and dance

Continued
I think I got too critical. I found there was 1 major cause for that: watching TV during dinner time. That develops your instinct to move towards the food plate instead of dance floor when thumping loud music is played. You just grow accustomed to laziness even when the best rockers on planet are playing, because thats what how associate food & dance.

Just like about 9 yrs ago when my friend introduced me to the very beautiful Cindy Crawford images he had at his PC (running Win95). She was dressed in little clothing. And the program his computer vendor had installed for image viewing was Corel 5. Hence double-cliking the image ran CorelPaint, which started with a splashscreen with baloons, circles, etc on a green background. Somehow that splashscreen just got printed in my memory because of what it was associated with.
So in the next 1 year, whenver I visited any friends of mine and found that program, I asked them to close the door, expecting something equally entertaining to come up on clicking on Corel Icon. At relatives' place I would blush. I just had related "Corel" to "Sexy Images".

That computer nescience lasted only till 1997, when I got my first PC.

Dull day

The expected action didn't happen at the college today. That kid who ruined our party yesterday, obviously was nowhere to be seen. The whole talk seem to have calmed down. Not much discussions related to it.
But what was surprising was that teachers didn't have a clue as to what mess we'd been in a day ago. Seniors chickened out of telling them the whole story. And juniors anyway won't.
So in the end, it seems, whole matter was hushed up. Well, that keeps our college away from negative publicity. But fire spreads sooner or later.

New day has come

Well, after yesterday's party being ruined by one of the senior students, everybody in college would be in the mood to cream him. He'll not attempt to even come near the college campus if he has a single brain cell left. So I don't actually expect fireworks today. But a lots of talking would sure go on. Lots of accusations, lots of cursing, and stuff.
And now I have to run and get ready for college. Bye.

Monday, September 27, 2004

Typical of us

Today at the party, one act where most of the eyes were rooted was that of a couple - both second yr students - dancing and romancing together. The boy was about 5 8", wearing a low-cut jeans and dark designer white shirt, and the girl about 5 4", dressed in stunning black dress which only went as far as her heels. For us its something out of normal and surprising. It does not usually happen when you are in process of learning i.e. in school or college. Even if you fall in love during college days, relationship is kept very clean and philosophical/fun.

Their chemistry worked well. They held each other, like they wouldn't separate till the end of time.

Unfortunately for the most of us, it was first time we were witnessing display of affection in public. And it drove people frantic.
Whenver they smooched, all around me burst into cheap laughter and claps; and me enjoying, not the acts of the lovebirds, but the antics of the crowd. At the same time the feeling in my mind ranged from anywhere from embarrasing to shameful. Some of my good friends, whom I thought highly of made really ugly comments at the girl and that just repelled me away from them for the rest of the party. I know I myself long for such times, but I don't think I'll be doing the in future if I myself have a stigma or fear or disgust attached to it. I don't see it as something to hide, but at same time I don't see myself mature enough for it. Hence the lack of a girlfriend of mine.

Luckily, the couple, either didn't notice or didn't give a damn about the whistles and woo-hoos of the crowd. They just held each other close, and synchronised their movements to perfection.

Art of Dancing in truly "Desi" Parties

In my earlier post, i mentioned my fresher party. here's something elaborated: How to dance in such parties.

I would give an excerpt from Ted Bundy's "Hand to Hand combat"

Now, let me discuss some of the basics you will need to know when you are in any combat situation.

Stance
The best stance when confronting an enemy is to put your feet at shoulders length apart and your arms should be facing forward, parallel to each other and bent at the elbows. Keep your knees slightly bent and stand on the balls of your feet.
Remember, you always want to maintain this stance when you are not striking at the enemy.

Balance
It is always important that you keep your balance. If you use the stance I have described above, you will never have to worry about it. If by chance you do lose your balance even for a second you can kiss your ass goodbye as the enemy will probably kill you.

Aggressiveness
Always be aggressive and always attack. Don’t just stand back and defend yourself against the enemy’s strikes as he will end up killing you eventually. If you are not aggressive, the enemy will think you are scared and he will have an advantage over you.
A great thing to do is yell at the enemy. This will scare the **** out of him if you start yelling at him and plus it also allows you to get more oxygen in your lungs so you will have more strength.

Natural Weapons
Your natural weapons are as follows: knife edge of either hand, the heel of your hands, your fingers folded at the second knuckle, your boot, your elbow, your knees, your teeth, your fore finger and second finger forming a „V“ shape, and your fist. These body parts alone are some of the most powerful weapons you can use.



You have to be skilled at this knowledge for a comfortable stay on the dance floor.

Indians always dance in multiple-people groups. The groups mostly unisexual, ie males dance together, females together. There will be lot of rush. Hence first step would be to take an agressive stance and slowly make way into the crowd towards your friends, who will be dancing somewhere in there. Then announce your arrival by a booming shout showing that you are all pumped up. Then comes the most difficult part: entering and staying in the group. For this you require to be very well balanced, as well as in a high. The slower you dance, the more likely you would be pushed out of the circle. Just keep waving and shouting like its nobody's business and you'll get respect on the floor. Don't try to hum songs, it just makes you look stupid when you're actually trying to show-off how close you are to the music. And when you fall in a group where girls are also present, you can't survive without the agression. In an effort to prove that they are alpha-males, all the guys get very pushing and loud.

Follow these simple things and you're sure to end up on top of a few dancing shoulders (if you're not oversized and overweight like me, that is).

Crashed and Trashed: Exclusive Online Review of my Fresher's Party

I, along with a friend reached Hotel Ashoka, one of the best 5 star hotels in city for our Fresher's Party. My friend had come in his best clothing which he bought esp for the event - embroidered kurta and payjamas. Me was in simple Shirt&Jeans. I don't care abt my looks that much.

After the usual alcohol and cigarette checkup we were allowed to go inside. And then my friend found there was no use for his attire. Inside was all dark and humid with kids rocking the floors to DJ's music. I first thought we were being caged. I went totally blind bcoz of sudden change of light level. They my eyes adjusted. Met my friends who were already dripping sweat.

The floor was all crowded. There was very little place to move to the groove. Somehow ppl had to crawl among the long line of rocking bodies.
Worst thing was: the music had little pace. The DJ playing it was a poor one. He not only was playing complete tracks, but he wasn't putting any beats or changing the tempo of the songs either. Apart from that music selection was awful. Only crappy Hindi remixes and Punjabi. The DJs that came in my former college's party were much better (read prev posts).

And folks were still shaking like it was a miraculous place to be. I can't digest how they could, first of all, dance in that small area esp when music's so slow, secondly, how could they like the same songs being played repetedly. Boring. They jumped in the air shouting violently whenver a Punjabi song began, you know, the usual "ting-a-ding-a-ting-a-ding-a" tune, trademark of all thats Punjabi.

I sat dormant for a long time, just gazing at fellas knockin themselves tired. Many friends asked me to join them but I told them that it wasn't fast enough. Really. I did feel that way. Frustrated, I approached the DJ and asked him to play some Prodigy, Chem Bros or Oakenfold. He said thats for later. I gave him the grumpy look and went back. You're supposed to build the tempo at beginning, not when everybody is tired and wanting to go home. After some time, I told myself: "lower your imaginary standards and go out there and rock." So I did for abt half hour.

And when 2 hrs were left, and I was sitting in corner gobbling up pizzas and sipping cold drinks, thinking about the trance I'd be in when my favourite music will be played, the music stopped. The lights came on. Everyone complained that they wanted more. Then came the newsflash that one of the seniors had harassed the hostess and assaulted a guard and then ran away. Apparently that became a big issue and Hotel Manager and Commissioner of Police were called. The hall was emptied. The seniors felt sorry and apologized to us for all that had happened. Then the silence. And then it was bye-bye for us.

I became really violent at the end for I hadn't had any fun. Everybody felt like killing the bastard who ruined it all for us. For me, it was 250 bucks gone in the drain. Better luck next life.

Prepared

today is my fresher's party. occasion when all the newbies to college life are given a great time (supposedly) by seniors. But I know I'll end up bored. THere would be only 2 things: Food & Dance. As I'm not fond of the latter one, i'll be found next to the food table irritating the waiters.
Mebbe if they put on some oakenfold, prodigy or chem bros, i mite as well be on the dance floor for a few minutes.

I would be leaving in 5 mts. Am listening to the epic song "Paranoid Android". Don't know if the resonance of the song in my mind would help me enjoy the party or not.

Friday, September 24, 2004

Growing into a hedonist...

...who leeches day-in day-out using his download manager's explorer to locate folders rich with media content on the net.
My thought process has changed since inception of age of cyber freedom for me. All my plans to wreck havoc on slashdot and local forums seem vanished.

Where am I heading for? Will I succumb to the forces of pleasure? Or will the light of creativity and genius once again shine? Stay tuned for more breathtaking blog-episodes of "Vidrohi" at http://vidrohiarrives.blogspot.com

Phobias I have

I have morbid fear or aversion to:

  • 13, number- Triskaidekaphobia.

  • Alcohol- Methyphobia or Potophobia.

  • Beaten by a rod or instrument of punishment, or of being severely criticized- Rhabdophobia.

  • Blood- Hemophobia, Hemaphobia or Hematophobia.

  • Body odors- Osmophobia or Osphresiophobia.

  • Burglars, or being harmed by wicked persons- Scelerophobia.

  • Buried alive, being or cemeteries- Taphephobia or Taphophobia.

  • Clowns- Coulrophobia.

  • Confined spaces- Claustrophobia.

  • Crowds or mobs- Enochlophobia, Demophobia or Ochlophobia.

  • Death or dying- Thanatophobia.

  • Defeat- Kakorrhaphiophobia.

  • Homosexuality or of becoming homosexual- Homophobia.

  • Imperfection- Atelophobia.

  • Jealousy- Zelophobia.

  • Love, falling or being in- Philophobia.

  • Operation, surgical- Tomophobia.

  • Others, dependence on- Soteriophobia.

  • Radiation or x-rays- Radiophobia.

  • Religious ceremonies- Teleophobia.

  • Robbers or being robbed- Harpaxophobia.

  • Scientific terminology, complex- Hellenologophobia.

  • Words, long- Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia or Sesquipedalophobia.



The knowledge on phobias, source http://www.phobialist.com/

Thursday, September 23, 2004

Realising the (rock-bottom) standards of people

Took a day off from college to visit my old college, where an event to welcome the freshers was being held. The college, standing among top 5 in Delhi, promised to give me a good time-out from engineering studies. Moreover it had been a while since I met my friends, and passed those dreamy looks to a couple of had-been flames of mine (thier looks would really freeze you).

Expecting to be rolling in fun, I arrived at the old institution and easily got in by showing my last year's I-card at the entrance. Preceded by the ritual cigarette-and-drug checkup, I made it towards the main area. I met my friends. I had a glimpse of some lovely faces around (polite way of saying "hoocie mamas"). Then I saw the preaparation for the event - many loudspeakers bunched to form a monster sound system - thats it. Some DJs were arranged for to play soul-pumping music.

And at about 1:15PM began the music. I think 3 or 4 diff DJ's had come. They were using an old DJ system to mix songs. And 4 medium-sized travel bags stuffed CDs accompanied them. By the looks i was expecting some redemption from boredom. They started out with some booming beats, really loud and then came their remixes. The remixes sounded like the dinner your mother prepares on weekdays: same dishes, different toppings and desserts. It was basically mashing together punjabi booms with pretty western/indian songs with a little twist in tempo, or addition of screeches, etc. So Lame. They played some of the songs over and over again driving me raving stark mad. My repeated efforts to get some oakenfold, chem bros, or prodigy playing went in vain.
But what topped the disgust list was the crowd. The college had arranged for a space nearly the size of two large rooms for the students to boogie. Now try to accomodate 500 students (minimum assumption) on that floor, and you'd find nobody gets even space to stand properly. And still people rocked as if it was the best they'll ever experience. Even though the songs were repeated, or unheard by many, they shrieked and jumped when music changed, like they knew the artists closely. You could spot my types in the crowd trying to fend off jerks bumping into them while moving their hands occasionally to announce that they can "get jiggy" too! I stayed back, just watched them from safe distance. One of my friends broke his nose when somebody from the crowd hit his face in the frenzy. Others were bored to death.

I am apalled at the level human forms of entertainment have come to.

Examinations over, no change in attitude whatsoever

Exams ended last week. Now I'm breating the fresh air of freedom again. Anyways, the pain and struggle was ephemeral. I didn't prepare for anyone for more than 3 hrs and the marks are sure to reflect that. Physics and Maths are sure to lead me to my doom. Hope I would feel insulted and get inspired to be the "best of the best of the best" from my poor showing.

Now, the day usually passes with me inside my room. And I am not joking, for all I do is use the PC, or sleep. Regular hunger breaks lure me towards the kitchen, the only time I leave my room. Seems that I'm not affected whatsoever from the completion of a stressful week.

And then i talk about myself being dynamic at thoughts. As static as it gets.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

I can breathe free...

...virtually.

Got my dedicated connection in place after long long time. Can't stop being online even tho I know I have Chemistry (ugh) exam tomorro and preparations are zilch. I'm going to phail again, customary of me.

Anyways, first thing I dloaded were some simpsons clips. Then D3 vids. Now am hunting for music torrents. Of course, illegal.

Is that sci-fi in the dump?

Recently, lots of articles have been debating over survival of sci-fi concepts in today's society. The same thing that revolutionized the progeny 50 yrs ago looks bleak in shape now.

I, myself am not a big fan of sci-fi. But being a handshake distance away from my PC, I always find something related to it over WWW. Recently "I, Robot" was based on Isaac Asimov's concept. And now people like Corey Doctrow and Charles Stross are making an effort to bring it back. Here's one very good article relating this: http://www.popsci.com/popsci/science/article/0,12543,676265,00.html

It seems as if the millions of souls on the planet lack, not creativity, or originality, but direction and expansion. I know of many people who have their own concepts of space, time, evolution, and of course, aliens. But their ideas are too bleak and underdeveloped to stand strong. But then everybody wants a job where you get to wear golden rings on all 5 fingers. Why'd they want to mess up with something that lies buried for some time now?
Evolution is perpetual. Its just that now we categorize those examples under "Low IQ" category.

Saturday, September 11, 2004

And which Osama do I talk of...

Osama's the new boy in our class. Muhammed Osama Khan. Roughly 6ft tall. Abt 3X the size of Osama Bin Laden. But really nice personality.

He became instant celebrity in class for his name. Now everyone knows who Osama is. Thankfully there are no anti-terrorism cults here that would go as far as to express scorn at him. They all take his name lightly and gladly accept him in conversations.

Cheers to Osama!

I met Osama today

Osama's strong
Osama's meticulous
Osama's generous
Osama's focussed
Osama's trustworthy
Osama's funny

What! Me! Concenterate!

if(concenterate(me)) return true;
else return false;

This is an example of an always-false function

In simpler (and understandable) language, I can never concenterate. I sat down to prepare for my exams abt to come up in 2 days (which i'm going to fail gloriously in) and found myself thinking of off-topic stuff. I ended up wrting hour-long document on PC abt the 3 music videos i'm going to create when I grow up and become filthy rich. Just chalked out the videos, not music. I think all 3 of them are brilliant when put out in expected way. Esp 1st and 3rd.

I couldn't stop crying (not speaking literally here) when I thought of, and later typed down the last(3rd) one. It just made me melt over and over again (and btw, i'm don't fall among the sissy category). It was based on wildlife conservation.

I, tho can't leak anything now. Wait for the years when I slowly become adept in skills of animation and music composing. Then hope I either do as I plan, or sell/donate my idea to some great composer. Or if none happens, I'll extend the ideas , and release them as a novel.

Sheesh! I think too far.

What was I thinking back then?

While I'll be posting more of my earlier work later, I really felt sad and superior at same time over the things going on in my mind a fw yrs back.
I really got gloomy, as it sounds from my poetry during those days. But luckily I never resorted to anything violent, or depressing, and scribbled my emotions out as poetry. But at the same time I turned seriuosly notorious in thoughts and acts back then. Hope that made it even, and didn't degrade me.

Competitive thoughts, outbreak of puberty and guilt of watching too much porn, I think, brings out the best in you.

I also wrote a play then, over a topic like consumption of drugs which was highly acclaimed by everyone, and if not for those 2 actors in my group (i still loathe them) who ate up 3 major long paragraphs while the play was being presented, it would've got top honours in inter-school playfest. But it still came second.

Bye Bye Bye

(The poem created just for the irritating tone of then-popular boy band n'sync. i think this is much more entertaining than their song. Sort of Limerick, well, not exactly.)

I am wearing a tie.
Have you today put on the dye?
Be frank now. Don't be shy.
Be nice with all or time would fly.
And then there will be no need to cry.
Nor will I make for you delicious egg fry.

I truly admit I am a sutpid guy.
Never believed in scry.
I always kept my hair dry.
But why did you leave me, tell me why?
Crashed my PC and left me to die?
If that's the case, I also would say,
Bye, Bye, Bye, Bye, Bye.

Remourseful Life

My family, my friends;
I did ignore, I did betray.
This is, for what I thrive;
Cause this is what I missed in life.

I lived my life away from fear;
Too proud to shed a tear.
Never felt who was near;
Hated those who were dear.

I was stupid, myself fooled;
Deemed myself as a king,
But never ruled.
All the time I hadn't known.
My world of dreams, now blown.

Everything I touched I thought was golden;
Everything I loved is now broken;
No more words do I have to say

Every mistake I ever made has made me somber and full of fear.
As I was audience to my own devastation.

Now I wail, but in despair;
Need love but nobody cares.
In ocean of tears I stand drenched;
Have no family, have no friend.
I feel small, I stand alone;
Looking into the past, I myself mourn.
Give me a chance, this I insist;
But the will of god will subsist.

© vidrohi
all my works can also be found at http://infoland.s5.com It only works properly in IE :-(

Oceans of Fire

The crew was happy,
The people cheerful.
But never did one think,
Their end was going to be so pitiful.

We started off with a smile,
Having Snacks n' Wine n' enjoying every moment and while.
Keeping worries aside; Whoa we went,
It was like the blessings of God, treating us as a friend.

The breaking of bottle made a blast,
Standing on the deck,
People waved their dear ones,
Even the weather today was in contrast.

For many long days we sailed on the Oceans,
Nothing seemed to go wrong.
But nightmares awaited us,
The Weather soon became strong.

High and high it rose,
The waves seemed to touch the sky.
Cries of terror floated in the air.
Nowhere to run,
Neither would've escaped if we could fly.

Darkness dominated,
The lights went out.
All seemed to be a devil's plan,
No hope of rescue even if we would shout.

End was near with all left being a little breath,
Floating on the ocean surface,
Were planks n posters of Bon Voyage,
A luxury ship had turned into a ring of death.

Memories floated in front of us,
The last time we gazed at the heaven.
Then the ship immersed in the waters,
Thus came the journey to a sorrowful end.

The mighty ocean becalmed,
It had taken its revenge.
Showed such stillness as if,
Nothing had ever happened.

© vidrohi
also posted at http://infoland.s5.com Teh site works properly only on IE :-(

Age-old work in poetry

I wrote a few poems when I was in 10th grade. I felt they reflected the times when I got into the philosophical mode, leaving behind the dirty, sporty, frivolous, and social modes.
I'll keep posting the old ones, as well as writing new ones (reeeeeeeeeealy slooooooooooooooooooooowly).

Feel free to burn me down (thru comments, of course) if you dislike them.

Thursday, September 09, 2004

KIA

My tests begin next week. I have studied a peanut if you compare the course to a watermelon.

Just found out that Physics course is 300pgs long. So I either find better time management, or shorter book.
Other subjects are scaring me to death each and every second.

I have excitement of playing Table Tennis for 3hrs in the college, and no brains whatsoever to consider the restrictions on me when I perform horribly in tests.

Couch Potato Entertainment

Nothing better than Jimmy Neutron, The Simpsons, Sienfeld and Alias episodes on a boring day when you have nothing to do outside.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

False enthusiasm

Its so easy to make people believe in something controversial. just put out a confident statament related to it and you've got ppl talking of wild things.

Recent example was the SETI finding of a consistent signal in past yr (3 times, that is). More crazy is the theory of Area-51, that aliens are working with the army to produce jet-fighters. Fav line : "Area 51. You are not here"

One thing's for sure, there's no intelligent or developed species within 1000s of light yrs frm earth. One reason might be that there don't exist any planetary systems like ours nearby. Only either binary star systems, or very fast-spinning solar systems. But there might also be possibility of non-carbon based life forms, unlike us.

We are not alone in the Universe. I would never recant this comment. Am waiting for that someday.

Two of my best reads recently

http://www.wired.com/wired/archive/12.09/anime.html
http://www.microsoft.com/typography/ctfonts/WordRecognition.aspx

My touch with courage

I'm really late and slow in life.

I had seen this many times over the TV as a kid, but had never given any attention to the "Unknown Rebel" who captured the broadcasts on 5th June, 1989 after Chinese govt had decided to crack down on peaceful protestors at Tianamen Square.
He defines your whole life's mission in a little space. If you don't get affected by this one, you're hopeless.


Video Clip here : http://www.cnn.com/resources/video.almanac/1989/tiananmen/tianamen.tanks.large.27sec.mov

read about it here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiananmen_Square_protests_of_1989
and http://www.time.com/time/time100/leaders/profile/rebel.html

and about the "The Unknown Rebel" (as he was dubbed by magzines/papers later on)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tank_man

Anime in India

India has aversion to animation, it seems. Not a single recognisable cartoon character from a land of billions. And you see the level of animation here. Characters with body parts in form of blocks, all moving independently; static background; poor dubbing; worthless script.

"Pavitr" is the Indian spiderman abt to be released soon. Don't think that makes sense. People are just not interested to read or learn the art of animation. Its still seen as a medium for kids and as a result you have all the cartoon serials dubbed into Hindi, almost none of the true Japanese anime, and no sort of manga whatsoever.

But few works have been impressive: Ramayana and The Pandavas. Others are in process of completion.

People on resonance with my view wait for an Indian "Samurai Jack", or "Dexter" or "Akira"

Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Seriously need speed

I'm just wanting to break the barrier of dialup. Those sick bastards can't offer Broadband in University area. I'm living life at usually <48kbps. The only broadband company here has speed ranging frm 16-48kbps. So its useless in other words.

My coll broadband sucks as its distributed among 200 PCs with jerks chatting and watching smut. Useless.

Rite now am in a cyber cafe, at 512. delighted. But wonder when that'll be made commercial. Not many ppl in India see any use of PC or Internet.

Planet of the nothings

I reached college in most revolting dress. And seems that seniors are too afraid to mess with me. And I'm not joking, because they caught many ppl from my batch for a small issue as not wearing sandals.
And here I was in coloured dress, shoes, shiny watch.

Unexpectedly, few of the newcomers in my class saluted me with "Goodmorning Sir".

Seniors need to grow up. Otherwise how would i take out all my verbal beating on them??

Mourning one's entry into college?

I reached college to find the whole 1st year batch was painted in white. Like they were mourning their decision to get into college. They were petrified of the seniors, and were wearing their proposed dress code. They were all looking at me like I was an alien, for my dress. I was the solitary revolt.
What a sight!

brevity is an art...

...and i'll try to practice it. Posts are gettin time consuming and irritatingly long.
Synonym: succinct